It's been a pretty average week at work, so I was happy to look at job ad when someone sent one my way. It sounded awesome: big picture, big results stuff. I was thinking about applying until I realised that it would be a non-technical role, which completely put me off.
A few months ago I moved from a part management part technical role to almost purely technical, and I've been seriously enjoying it. But despite that, it doesn't feel like what I want to be doing for the next 30 years.
What do I want to be doing for the next 30 years?
I enjoy technical work so long as it's tied to a higher purpose. Collaborative problem solving and technical leadership stuff are also up there, and I'm fairly comfortable with looking after staff. But start talking about budgets, Gannt charts, project plans and "resources" and I'm looking for the door. Which leads to a bit of a confession: I'm not a finisher.
I mean, sure, I get things done, but by the time I'm 80% there I've lost interest. All the "personality tests" back this up - using HDBI terminology I'm imaginative and analytical, with a decent amount of interpersonal, and almost no sequential aptitude. That is, big on ideas and problem solving, decent with people, and not so good on the details. Knowing those traits is one thing, but mapping them to a career path is something else, particularly in my current organisation.
So why, when a job comes along that seems to be a great match for me, do I brush it aside just because there's no technical component? What's so important to me about being a developer anyway? Is it just the comfort of working from a safe knowledge base, or is it something deeper?
For many reasons outside of this, now is not a good time for me to be looking at changing jobs so I won't be applying. But if I want to make any sort of progress from here on I think I need to understand what's holding me back.
Maybe I need a life coach. Hell, maybe I just need a holiday.